HELLah 2005
And i thought wrong! I was totally wrong when i expected that 2004, since it's the year of the monkey (which happens to be my sign), will be a more positive year for me.
The mid and last part of my 2004 was the worst of both. I regretted celebrating 2 of the most celebrated days in my life. First, MY BIRTHDAY... Second, CHRISTMAS. When evil decides to mess your day, it won't choose a timing perfect for us but of course perfect for the evil's goddamn ass.
During my birthday last July 2004, my mom and i argued just because i told her that i never felt i was my birthday. All the food i would have eaten and the utensil i would have used that time were unavailable for me to consume and use, respectively, just because my dad's friends who were already having the time of their lives drinking were being prioritized. That day, I went off early from the office; hurried fast home; and even told my boyfriend that day to starve until we get to my place so that it would save us some money from eating out and of course to celebrate my much awaited 24th bday with my "family". Dammit, when we arrived home... it wasn't i who was supposed to enjoy the party but my dad's friend who was also celebrating his bday. PUCHA ISINABAY LANG PALA AKO... So i got mad, asked my bf out so that I could cool down... After 3 hours of a counseling session with my bf, since he was trying so hard to bring back my mood by some logical and smart conversation, we went back home. AKALA KO OKEY NA?! There my mom went up to my room and threw words at me, especially quoting, "Naiinis ako sa BF mo, galit ako sa kanya... at ikaw kinakampihan mo pa!!!" Oops, ano daw? And there it started, I answered back to defend my side until i heard the destructive statement of the day "YOU DONT CARE AFTER ALL!" Boom, i packed my things rushed downstairs to leave home. However my good'ol neutral BF stopped me and cleared my mind by his "spirituall" advices. Of course, I DIDN'T ACCOMPLISH MY FLIGHT!
Christmas came, 7 months after my disastrous bday! This time my dad was the one who threw me the same words my mom told me during my bday. He despised my BF bcoz according to him "ANG YABANG NG BF MO!" Damn, what's so arrogant about him washing the dishes after the family's dinner, what's so arrogant about being discreet and gentle, and what's so arrogant about having nothing to be arrogant at all? I didn't know why i became the subject of that Christmas day, but one thing i knew i've done right.... I SUCCEEDED IN MY FLIGHT! I ran away from home for about 2 weeks. It was damn painful... how their words ripped and broke me and my heart apart.
I am at home but i can never say I am Home. There is an ongoing silent war. They wanted me here, yes indeed i can be here physically but my being is somewhere else. A place where i can be accepted, a place where i can be who i am, a place where there is tension but is settled because communication is open. I AM IN HAVEN, the AMARANTH HAVEN.
Hello 2005, i hope that my hello is worth every effort and will not be a HELLAH (hell of) 2005.
This might be late for the Philippine celebration of new year but Happy New Year to all bloggers! Well on second thought, it will still be an advance greeting for the Chinese celebration of new year hehe.
And i thought wrong! I was totally wrong when i expected that 2004, since it's the year of the monkey (which happens to be my sign), will be a more positive year for me.
The mid and last part of my 2004 was the worst of both. I regretted celebrating 2 of the most celebrated days in my life. First, MY BIRTHDAY... Second, CHRISTMAS. When evil decides to mess your day, it won't choose a timing perfect for us but of course perfect for the evil's goddamn ass.
During my birthday last July 2004, my mom and i argued just because i told her that i never felt i was my birthday. All the food i would have eaten and the utensil i would have used that time were unavailable for me to consume and use, respectively, just because my dad's friends who were already having the time of their lives drinking were being prioritized. That day, I went off early from the office; hurried fast home; and even told my boyfriend that day to starve until we get to my place so that it would save us some money from eating out and of course to celebrate my much awaited 24th bday with my "family". Dammit, when we arrived home... it wasn't i who was supposed to enjoy the party but my dad's friend who was also celebrating his bday. PUCHA ISINABAY LANG PALA AKO... So i got mad, asked my bf out so that I could cool down... After 3 hours of a counseling session with my bf, since he was trying so hard to bring back my mood by some logical and smart conversation, we went back home. AKALA KO OKEY NA?! There my mom went up to my room and threw words at me, especially quoting, "Naiinis ako sa BF mo, galit ako sa kanya... at ikaw kinakampihan mo pa!!!" Oops, ano daw? And there it started, I answered back to defend my side until i heard the destructive statement of the day "YOU DONT CARE AFTER ALL!" Boom, i packed my things rushed downstairs to leave home. However my good'ol neutral BF stopped me and cleared my mind by his "spirituall" advices. Of course, I DIDN'T ACCOMPLISH MY FLIGHT!
Christmas came, 7 months after my disastrous bday! This time my dad was the one who threw me the same words my mom told me during my bday. He despised my BF bcoz according to him "ANG YABANG NG BF MO!" Damn, what's so arrogant about him washing the dishes after the family's dinner, what's so arrogant about being discreet and gentle, and what's so arrogant about having nothing to be arrogant at all? I didn't know why i became the subject of that Christmas day, but one thing i knew i've done right.... I SUCCEEDED IN MY FLIGHT! I ran away from home for about 2 weeks. It was damn painful... how their words ripped and broke me and my heart apart.
I am at home but i can never say I am Home. There is an ongoing silent war. They wanted me here, yes indeed i can be here physically but my being is somewhere else. A place where i can be accepted, a place where i can be who i am, a place where there is tension but is settled because communication is open. I AM IN HAVEN, the AMARANTH HAVEN.
Hello 2005, i hope that my hello is worth every effort and will not be a HELLAH (hell of) 2005.
This might be late for the Philippine celebration of new year but Happy New Year to all bloggers! Well on second thought, it will still be an advance greeting for the Chinese celebration of new year hehe.
2 Comments:
Jia how are you? When are you going to post again? Hope you're doing ok. Take care!
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All statements made are our express opinion only and should be treated as such.
We may own, take position and sell any securities mentioned at any time. Any statements that express or involve discussions with respect
to predictions, goals, expectations, beliefs, plans, projections, object'ives, assumptions or future events or perfo'rmance are
not
statements of historical fact and may be "forward,|ooking
statements." forward,|ooking statements are based on expectations, estimates
and projections at the time the statements are made that involve a number of risks and uncertainties which could cause actual results
or events to differ materially from those presently anticipated. This newsletter was paid $3,000 from third party (IR Marketing).
Forward,|ooking statements in this action may be identified through the use of words such as: "pr0jects", "f0resee", "expects". in compliance with Se'ction 17. {b), we disclose the holding of EGTY shares prior to the publication of this report. Be aware of an inherent conflict of interest resulting from such holdings due to our intent to profit from the liquidation of these shares. Shar,es may be sold at any time, even after positive statements have been made regarding the above company. Since we own shares, there is an inherent conflict of interest in our statements and opinions. Readers of this publication are cautioned not
to place undue reliance on forward,|ooking statements, which are based on certain assumptions and expectations involving various risks and uncertainties that could cause results to
differ materially from those set forth in the forward- looking statements. This is not solicitation to buy or sell st-0cks, this text is
or informational purpose only and you should seek professional advice from registered financial advisor before you do anything related
with buying or selling st0ck-s, penny st'0cks are very high risk and you can lose your entire inves,tment.
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