Death
I am scared of dying.
This past few months I had been contemplating about death and the feeling of leaving your love ones behind. I wanted to ask my mom and dad if they are afraid of dying, now that they are approaching the prime when they often feel tired or numb without any reasons. I wish I can read their minds and tell them that when they reach that final hour, angels will be rejoicing in heaven to welcome another member of their league.... my mom and dad like my grandmas and grandpas are all sacred souls, and in heaven they all have a special place they'll call home.
Four months ago, our pet (the favorite of all, FALCOR) left the home he grew up in for almost seven years. According to our neighbors, our pet followed my boyfriend when he left my place to go home. That night, Falcor didn't return home. I thought then that he might have been protecting a bitch he was wooing... but nights of not returning home turned into weeks, which then rolled into months. NO FALCOR CAME HOME. Some nights I dreamt of Falcor and I knew he left so that we would not see how he suffered from an illness that only dogs could feel. Of course, he could not speak or bark of it, but when he went away I felt that he didnt want us to be pained by a family bestfriend's death, his death.
My brother tried to revive the joy which Falcor brought our home by buying 3 Labradors. However, due to a virus (parvo) common to dogs of such breed, all of the 3 dogs died a painful and gradual death. I saw two of the labs died before my birthday and even played the role of a vet to the other one who was fighting the virus. I thought that Sky (white lab who died next after Ron, a black lab) will be able to survive. Sky was able to fight parvo and on the recovery but unfortunately due to her immunity which eventually weakened after a week of fighting death, she became so exhausted to fight hepatitis. Just after a week and a half of Ron's death, Sky said goodbye. Among the 3, Harry (brown lab) was the last one who we thought had survived the attack. 2 weeks after Sky's death, he was in great condition and undescribable agility. However, the 1st day of Harry's supposed to be 3rd week at home (after Sky's death), he showed signs of the virus. Sadly, he was never able to fight it long the way Ron and Sky did, Harry died the next day with his head resting on my hands after a minute of what appears to be a convulsion. I saw tears from Harry's eyes which made me cried and thought about Falcor's pain. But living creatures no matter how much they wanted to live had to take the path of heavenly lights away from the earthly ones.
The thought of death scares me more because I don't wanna be alone when I cross the tunnel where I need to follow the light which will lead me to heaven and to the place where my departed loved ones will be waiting for me.
I guess... one thing which makes me really look forward to death is the thought of seeing my departed families, our dogs (Ron, Sky, and Harry), and our house bestfriend FALCOR waiting for me at the gates of heaven for a family reunion.
I miss them all.
inxs : we have a new dog (black lab), I hope this time he will stay with us longer
I am scared of dying.
This past few months I had been contemplating about death and the feeling of leaving your love ones behind. I wanted to ask my mom and dad if they are afraid of dying, now that they are approaching the prime when they often feel tired or numb without any reasons. I wish I can read their minds and tell them that when they reach that final hour, angels will be rejoicing in heaven to welcome another member of their league.... my mom and dad like my grandmas and grandpas are all sacred souls, and in heaven they all have a special place they'll call home.
Four months ago, our pet (the favorite of all, FALCOR) left the home he grew up in for almost seven years. According to our neighbors, our pet followed my boyfriend when he left my place to go home. That night, Falcor didn't return home. I thought then that he might have been protecting a bitch he was wooing... but nights of not returning home turned into weeks, which then rolled into months. NO FALCOR CAME HOME. Some nights I dreamt of Falcor and I knew he left so that we would not see how he suffered from an illness that only dogs could feel. Of course, he could not speak or bark of it, but when he went away I felt that he didnt want us to be pained by a family bestfriend's death, his death.
My brother tried to revive the joy which Falcor brought our home by buying 3 Labradors. However, due to a virus (parvo) common to dogs of such breed, all of the 3 dogs died a painful and gradual death. I saw two of the labs died before my birthday and even played the role of a vet to the other one who was fighting the virus. I thought that Sky (white lab who died next after Ron, a black lab) will be able to survive. Sky was able to fight parvo and on the recovery but unfortunately due to her immunity which eventually weakened after a week of fighting death, she became so exhausted to fight hepatitis. Just after a week and a half of Ron's death, Sky said goodbye. Among the 3, Harry (brown lab) was the last one who we thought had survived the attack. 2 weeks after Sky's death, he was in great condition and undescribable agility. However, the 1st day of Harry's supposed to be 3rd week at home (after Sky's death), he showed signs of the virus. Sadly, he was never able to fight it long the way Ron and Sky did, Harry died the next day with his head resting on my hands after a minute of what appears to be a convulsion. I saw tears from Harry's eyes which made me cried and thought about Falcor's pain. But living creatures no matter how much they wanted to live had to take the path of heavenly lights away from the earthly ones.
The thought of death scares me more because I don't wanna be alone when I cross the tunnel where I need to follow the light which will lead me to heaven and to the place where my departed loved ones will be waiting for me.
I guess... one thing which makes me really look forward to death is the thought of seeing my departed families, our dogs (Ron, Sky, and Harry), and our house bestfriend FALCOR waiting for me at the gates of heaven for a family reunion.
I miss them all.
inxs : we have a new dog (black lab), I hope this time he will stay with us longer
3 Comments:
death is a strange thing...unexpected and unwanted and yet it comes and always at a bad time!
Hmmm... Wala pa akong time to read but I'll be back.
the dog is dead or kilawin perhaps! tsk tsk tsk... no naman ang lasa ng may breeding na aso!
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